Monday, May 16, 2011

Pritam Singh, Aljunied GRC

In the WP's new fundraising calendar, called 'Working Class Heroes', Pritam Singh cuts a dashing figure as 'Mr July: Karang Guni Man'.

Muhamad Faisal Abdul Manap, Aljunied GRC

Muhamad Faisal Abdul Manap showed that he wasn't in Opposition just for the sake of opposing when he told reporters that he agreed with Yaacob Ibrahim's statement that Malay should be taught as a foreign language. However, he went on to state, "But only for our table tennis players, so they can sing our National Anthem properly."

Friday, May 13, 2011

Sylvia Lim, Aljunied GRC

Despite her best efforts at being a speech coach, Sylvia Lim was unable to prevent Low Thia Khiang from going up to the podium and saying, "You have to make this deshishen for the future of your chewren."

Monday, May 9, 2011

Yaw Shin Leong, Hougang SMC

To break the PAP's monopoly on kindergartens all over the island, Yaw Shin Leong decided to set up the first WP kindergarten. The first class was held outdoors, with an enrollment of two students and a teaching staff of one.

Sim Ann, Holland-Bukit Timah

"But I'm the PAP candidate here," Sim Ann protested to the boy, realising too late that her attempt to carry off the Nicole Seah look had backfired.

Alex Yam, Chua Chu Kang GRC

Wearing funky glasses helped Alex Yam to overcome a square image attributed to a regulation PAP side parting, as well as sharing the same surname as Yam Ah Mee.

Low Yen Ling, Chua Chu Kang GRC

Overcoming joint stiffness and a plastic smile were some of the challenges that Low Yen Ling had initially faced, as she transitioned into political life from her previous vocation as an OG department store mannequin.

Ang Hin Kee, Ang Mo Kio GRC

Ang Hin Kee often had to carry around his Ang Mo Kio GRC brochure on walkabouts with PM Lee, just to clarify to residents that he was a fellow candidate and not a bodyguard. "This is me," he told the young man. "You see, the face same right?"

Intan Azura Mokhtar, Ang Mo Kio GRC

Intan Azura: Where did you buy your serkup (beanie) from?
Resident: From Joo Chiat. But I don't know whether white they have or not. You know lah, white get dirty very easily.
Intan Azura: But if you pay more, you buy the more expensive one, then it won't get dirty easily. Right?

In the meantime, the woman in the background wondered if they were discussing ministerial salaries.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Aljunied GRC

Thank you people of Aljunied. Because of you I am reminded of why I spent so much time entertaining you with his blog. There is so much richness in our lives that we don't pay enough attention to. I'm overwhelmed. Your vote was a vote for the continuation of joy, and life, and all the other things that struggled to survive under the PAP regime. This is a start. I love you.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Polling Day

I have been asked why there are 64 MP's featured in this blog (including 2 new walkover MP's), when there should be 65. The omission is deliberate. The missing MP is Seng Han Thong, from Ang Mo Kio GRC. As I trawled the web for images, I found out that he was the MP who suffered severe burns when he was attacked by a constituent back in 2009.

It made me pause.

When it comes to satire, everyone is fair game, especially if the person is a public figure. But Mr Seng was someone who had spent 6 months recovering in a hospital. I couldn't bring myself to look at his photos and find an occasion for humour.

I suppose I am mentioning this right now because some people--especially those in positions of authority--believe that the capacity of artists and writers for mischief is limitless. That they have to be reined it at times because, for them, 'freedom of speech' is a principle which trumps all other considerations.

I don't think this is true, at least for the artists and writers that I know. What I know is that all of them, being members of society (as much as they are able to step outside of it when they need to adjust their perspectives), are remarkably sensitive to social mores and norms, and do exercise self-restraint.

And yet the works that they do are sometimes labeled 'demeaning', 'disparaging', 'adversarial', 'confrontational', etc. Or 'controversial'. But for me, what is defined as 'controversial' is merely a space which provides a meeting-point for those on the opposite extremes of an opinion spectrum. At the very least, one is forced to acknowledge the presence of a polar 'other' that one would not encounter under normal circumstances.

Some amount of regulation is necessary, but not to the point of establishing a censorship regime. We need a voice--and not just in Parliament. The period between two elections cannot be regarded as a moratorium on criticism and dissent. Anyway, I suppose what I'm saying is that I hope that those in power can start to trust their own people in the future. Trust that we will take responsibility for the things we say, and that they are often said after careful deliberation and in some cases, long struggle. The same trust should be accorded to our vote.

So with that, I present to you, gently and cautiously, with this:


The painter preferred to give non-committal answers after Seng Han Thong asked him, "So how? You think my tie artistic or not?".

So there we have it: all 65 MP's. And as you would know, Mr Seng has fully recovered and is fit enough to contest in this current elections.

Have a good Polling Day ahead. : )

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Low Thia Khiang, Aljunied GRC


After making a big show out of arriving punctually on Nomination Day, Low Thia Khiang felt a little disappointed that the watch retail chain City Chain offered an endorsement deal to Nicole Seah instead.

Chiam See Tong, Bishan-Toa Payoh GRC

If not for the fact that he was married, The New Paper would have had a field day speculating on the identities of the various elderly gentlemen who pecked Chiam See Tong's cheeks during his walkabouts.

Lee Hsien Loong, Ang Mo Kio GRC


Lee Hsien Loong said, "Since you're not going to bite our carrots this time round, we're just going to shred them now. See? Shred. Shred! Wasted right? All shredded!"

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Lee Kuan Yew, Tanjong Pagar GRC


Lee Kuan Yew shows the world how you celebrate a walkover victory in style.

Sam Tan Chin Siong, Radin Mas SMC


Sam Tan felt that it was high time he paid tribute to the people behind the scenes who had to lend the PAP their garlands every election season.

Lily Neo, Tanjong Pagar GRC


Lily Neo insisted on perfect lighting conditions before she would allow the press to take her photograph.

Michael Palmer, Punggol East SMC


Michael Palmer felt hurt that people were describing his walkabout photos as 'wayang', until he realised which ones they were referring to.

Masagos Zulkifli, Tampines GRC


The reporter and photographer from The Online Citizen expected a cool reception from Masagos Zulkifli, but they were certainly not prepared for this.

George Yeo, Aljunied GRC


As Singapore prepares to go nuclear in the future to meet its growing energy needs, Foreign Minister George Yeo felt it was necessary to seek advice from just the right guy—Iran’s Mahmoud Ahmedinejad.

Chia Shi Lu, Tanjong Pagar GRC


New MP Chia Shi Lu's background as an orthopaedic surgeon meant that he could lend his services to the PAP's screening process for new candidates. An important criterion for selection was a congenital absence of a funny bone.

Cedric Foo, Pioneer SMC


Cedric Foo tries to make a point about Singapore’s vulnerability—a tiny island ‘surrounded by a sea of green’.

Arthur Fong, West Coast GRC


Nobody who set eyes on Arthur Fong would doubt for a moment his loyalty to the party. The man was white-on-white-on-white.

Chan Chun Sing, Tanjong Pagar GRC


As someone who became Major-General without ever fighting in a real battle, Chan Chun Sing brings a wealth of experience to his new role as an MP ushered into Parliament without ever fighting in an electoral battle.

Heng Chee How, Whampoa SMC


Even though the two residents gamely agreed to pose for a photo with him, Heng Chee How could not help but wonder if they were secretly SDP supporters.

S. Iswaran, West Coast GRC


S. Iswaran's finger pushups were legendary.

Indranee Rajah, Tanjong Pagar GRC


On the day following her walkover win in Tanjong Pagar GRC, Indranee Rajah went on door-to-door house visits to collect back the PAP Election Manifesto.

Irene Ng, Tampines GRC


After her campaign poster was released, Irene Ng had to clarify to her residents that she had no intention of joining Singapore Idol.

Lim Wee Kiak, Nee Soon GRC


The man behind Lim Wee Kiak wondered what the latter was pointing at. He was unaware that MP's sometimes had to strike a pose for a Neighborhood Newsletter photo that was pre-captioned: "Our MP also identified some areas for improvement."

Hawazi Daipi, Sembawang GRC


Hawazi Daipi was very careful not to wear his PAP white uniform to the Halloween party, in case it was mistaken for his costume.

Seah Kian Peng, Marine Parade GRC


Designated as Tin Pei Ling's human shield, Seah Kian Peng rushed to the frontline each time he spotted reporters.

Zainul Abidin Rasheed, Aljunied GRC


Midway through his speech, Zainul Abidin realised that the launch of a dinosaur exhibition was not the best place to talk about the relevance of the PAP to a younger electorate.

Lee Yi Shyan, East Coast GRC


The winners of the marathon paid no heed to Lee Yi Shyan's suggestion that they pose with their flag covering his face.

Alvin Yeo, Chua Chu Kang GRC


Alvin Yeo demonstrated to the crowd the sheer effort one expended "just to carry one." He said, "Now, I want you to imagine carrying a pair of them. It's not easy. But we do it all the time."

Muhd Faishal Ibrahim, Nee Soon GRC


As part of the Town Council's latest programme to prevent the spread of dengue, Faishal Ibrahim took the lead in showing residents how to kill mosquitoes.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Penny Low, Pasir-Ris Punggol GRC


The PAP somehow did not notice the irony of having someone named 'Penny Low' announce the latest GST hikes.

K. Shanmugam, Nee Soon GRC


Minister for Law and Home Affairs K. Shanmugam examines a model of the new ISA detention complex, which will be encased in a gigantic glass box for added security.

Denise Phua, Moulmein-Kallang GRC


Clearly, the glamorous Denise Phua had a knack for stealing the thunder at any prize-presentation ceremony she was invited to.

Ellen Lee, Sembawang GRC


Ellen Lee's makeover, orchestrated by a Singaporean make-up artist who had just returned from overseas, was considered by many to be too cutting-edge.

Christopher de Souza, Holland-Bukit Timah GRC


Christopher de Souza confidently announces to his residents that this is the best glass of Sarsi that he's ever tasted in his life.

Liang Eng Hwa, Holland-Bukit Timah GRC


Liang Eng Hwa, far left, seen here at a ribbon-cutting ceremony to officiate the opening of an SMRT bus door.

Mohamad Maliki Osman, East Coast GRC


"Surprise!" Maliki Osman jumped from behind the residents. "Look who's back!" The residents laughed, in grim anticipation of Residents' Committee people visiting their homes in the next few days to distribute fridge magnets.

Jessica Tan, East Coast GRC


To counter SDP's Danny The Democracy Bear, Jessica Tan unveiled PAP's very own Eileena The Elite Bear. Eileena comes complete with a framed copy of her GCE 'O' Levels results slip (11 A1's).

Hri Kumar, Bishan-Toa Payoh GRC


With his signature PAP garland, Hri Kumar was the perfect pick to channel Elvis during his 'Aloha from Hawaii' phase.

Zainudin Nordin, Bishan-Toa Payoh GRC


Malay MP Zainudin Nordin + Resident With Dog = Awkward Walkabout Photo Op.

Ng Eng Hen, Bishan-Toa Payoh


Education Minister Ng Eng Hen signs a Pledge Wall to combat the growing problem of graffiti in school toilets.

Wong Kan Seng, Bishan-Toa Payoh GRC


Wong Can't Sing, but that has never stopped him. When the Deputy Prime Minister was asked why he lets such terrifying sounds escape from his mouth, he responded by saying, "I just hit a wrong note. It was an honest mistake. Let's move on to the next song."

Zaqy Mohamed, Chua Chu Kang GRC


Zaqy Mohamed was the clear winner at the 'Most Integrated Malay' fancy dress competition held in conjunction with the launch of MM Lee's book 'Hard Truths'.