Foo Mee Har, West Coast GRC

Before

After

Foo Mee Har demonstrates how 'Extreme Makeover: Politics' works.

Lawrence Wong, West Coast GRC

But please don't call Lawrence Wong a yes-man.

Heng Swee Keat, Tampines GRC

Heng Swee Keat often liked using visual aids during his speeches. Here he uses a pair of paper cranes to bring across his message: the importance of origami in maintaining social cohesion. Or something.

Vikram Nair, Sembawang GRC

After having drunk water from a tank where a corpse was found, Vikram Nair received enthusiastic offers to be the new spokesperson for bottled Newater.

Ong Teng Koon, Sembawang GRC

Even before he had entered Parliament, Ong Teng Koon was already quite proficient at putting on the standard 'listening to Parliamentary speech' face.

Patrick Tay, Nee Soon GRC

While on a tour of the new Immigration and Customs complex, Patrick Tay spent quite a bit of time with the officials from the Contraband DVD's department.

Tin Pei Ling, Marine Parade GRC

Tin Pei Ling, draped in the Vanda Miss Choking.

Tan Chuan-Jin, Marine Parade GRC

It was a little-known fact that Tan Chuan-Jin had once been an avid member of the Singapore Paranormal Investigators.

Ong Kim Huat, Jurong GRC

"Uncle," the little girl told Ong Kim Huat for the umpteenth time, "you're supposed to turn your fingers the other way. The. Other. Way. Round."

Desmond Lee, Jurong GRC

Desmond Lee marked the end of the PAP Youth Orientation Camp by observing an annual ceremony: the symbolic extinguishing of the Dangerous Flames Of Idealism.

Ang Wei Neng, Jurong GRC

After Ang Wei Neng left, it was unanimously agreed by the group of friends that checkers was just not a cool game anymore, and that they should switch to carrom with immediate effect.

Janil Puthucheary, Pasir Ris-Punggol GRC

Janil Puthucheary, explaining to a bunch of wushu students why he doesn't have to do reservist. "I've been busy saving lives," he protests. In other words: self-defence meets self-defence during a discussion about self-defence.

Zainal Sapari, Pasir Ris-Punggol GRC

Zainal Sapari would like everyone to be informed of yet another compelling reason to join the PAP: no need for extra reflective gear during night cycling excursions.

Gan Thiam Poh, Pasir Ris-Punggol GRC

One of the trials prospective PAP candidates had to undergo involved stacking chairs according to their colours. Gan Thiam Poh recalls a particularly stressful segment of this highly challenging cognitive test.

Edwin Tong, Moulmein-Kallang GRC

Concerned that Opposition candidates were 'stealing' his party's signature orchid-garland look, Edwin Tong proposed wearing something that 'better symbolised the party': albino pythons.

Sitoh Yih Pin, Potong Pasir

It was generally agreed that Sitoh Yih Pin was a very different person from his predecessor.

Lim Biow Chuan, Mountbatten SMC

Lim Biow Chuan illustrated to residents the government's anti-welfare motto: 'teach a man to fish, and he will eat dumplings for a lifetime'.

Chen Show Mao, Aljunied GRC

Chen Show Mao was apparently so persuasive that he managed to convince the lady wearing the sun hat that she absolutely needed to buy the Workers' Party umbrella.

Pritam Singh, Aljunied GRC

In the WP's new fundraising calendar, called 'Working Class Heroes', Pritam Singh cuts a dashing figure as 'Mr July: Karang Guni Man'.

Muhamad Faisal Abdul Manap, Aljunied GRC

Muhamad Faisal Abdul Manap showed that he wasn't in Opposition just for the sake of opposing when he told reporters that he agreed with Yaacob Ibrahim's statement that Malay should be taught as a foreign language. However, he went on to state, "But only for our table tennis players, so they can sing our National Anthem properly."

Sylvia Lim, Aljunied GRC

Despite her best efforts at being a speech coach, Sylvia Lim was unable to prevent Low Thia Khiang from going up to the podium and saying, "You have to make this deshishen for the future of your chewren."

Yaw Shin Leong, Hougang SMC

To break the PAP's monopoly on kindergartens all over the island, Yaw Shin Leong decided to set up the first WP kindergarten. The first class was held outdoors, with an enrollment of two students and a teaching staff of one.

Sim Ann, Holland-Bukit Timah

"But I'm the PAP candidate here," Sim Ann protested to the boy, realising too late that her attempt to carry off the Nicole Seah look had backfired.

Alex Yam, Chua Chu Kang GRC

Wearing funky glasses helped Alex Yam to overcome a square image attributed to a regulation PAP side parting, as well as sharing the same surname as Yam Ah Mee.

Low Yen Ling, Chua Chu Kang GRC

Overcoming joint stiffness and a plastic smile were some of the challenges that Low Yen Ling had initially faced, as she transitioned into political life from her previous vocation as an OG department store mannequin.

Ang Hin Kee, Ang Mo Kio GRC

Ang Hin Kee often had to carry around his Ang Mo Kio GRC brochure on walkabouts with PM Lee, just to clarify to residents that he was a fellow candidate and not a bodyguard. "This is me," he told the young man. "You see, the face same right?"

Intan Azura Mokhtar, Ang Mo Kio GRC

Intan Azura: Where did you buy your serkup (beanie) from?
Resident: From Joo Chiat. But I don't know whether white they have or not. You know lah, white get dirty very easily.
Intan Azura: But if you pay more, you buy the more expensive one, then it won't get dirty easily. Right?

In the meantime, the woman in the background wondered if they were discussing ministerial salaries.

Aljunied GRC

Thank you people of Aljunied. Because of you I am reminded of why I spent so much time entertaining you with his blog. There is so much richness in our lives that we don't pay enough attention to. I'm overwhelmed. Your vote was a vote for the continuation of joy, and life, and all the other things that struggled to survive under the PAP regime. This is a start. I love you.

Polling Day

I have been asked why there are 64 MP's featured in this blog (including 2 new walkover MP's), when there should be 65. The omission is deliberate. The missing MP is Seng Han Thong, from Ang Mo Kio GRC. As I trawled the web for images, I found out that he was the MP who suffered severe burns when he was attacked by a constituent back in 2009.

It made me pause.

When it comes to satire, everyone is fair game, especially if the person is a public figure. But Mr Seng was someone who had spent 6 months recovering in a hospital. I couldn't bring myself to look at his photos and find an occasion for humour.

I suppose I am mentioning this right now because some people--especially those in positions of authority--believe that the capacity of artists and writers for mischief is limitless. That they have to be reined it at times because, for them, 'freedom of speech' is a principle which trumps all other considerations.

I don't think this is true, at least for the artists and writers that I know. What I know is that all of them, being members of society (as much as they are able to step outside of it when they need to adjust their perspectives), are remarkably sensitive to social mores and norms, and do exercise self-restraint.

And yet the works that they do are sometimes labeled 'demeaning', 'disparaging', 'adversarial', 'confrontational', etc. Or 'controversial'. But for me, what is defined as 'controversial' is merely a space which provides a meeting-point for those on the opposite extremes of an opinion spectrum. At the very least, one is forced to acknowledge the presence of a polar 'other' that one would not encounter under normal circumstances.

Some amount of regulation is necessary, but not to the point of establishing a censorship regime. We need a voice--and not just in Parliament. The period between two elections cannot be regarded as a moratorium on criticism and dissent. Anyway, I suppose what I'm saying is that I hope that those in power can start to trust their own people in the future. Trust that we will take responsibility for the things we say, and that they are often said after careful deliberation and in some cases, long struggle. The same trust should be accorded to our vote.

So with that, I present to you, gently and cautiously, with this:

The painter preferred to give non-committal answers after Seng Han Thong asked him, "So how? You think my tie artistic or not?".

So there we have it: all 65 MP's. And as you would know, Mr Seng has fully recovered and is fit enough to contest in this current elections.

Have a good Polling Day ahead. : )

Low Thia Khiang, Aljunied GRC

After making a big show out of arriving punctually on Nomination Day, Low Thia Khiang felt a little disappointed that the watch retail chain City Chain offered an endorsement deal to Nicole Seah instead.

Chiam See Tong, Bishan-Toa Payoh GRC

If not for the fact that he was married, The New Paper would have had a field day speculating on the identities of the various elderly gentlemen who pecked Chiam See Tong's cheeks during his walkabouts.

Lee Hsien Loong, Ang Mo Kio GRC

Lee Hsien Loong said, "Since you're not going to bite our carrots this time round, we're just going to shred them now. See? Shred. Shred! Wasted right? All shredded!"

Lee Kuan Yew, Tanjong Pagar GRC

Lee Kuan Yew shows the world how you celebrate a walkover victory in style.

Sam Tan Chin Siong, Radin Mas SMC

Sam Tan felt that it was high time he paid tribute to the people behind the scenes who had to lend the PAP their garlands every election season.

Lily Neo, Tanjong Pagar GRC

Lily Neo insisted on perfect lighting conditions before she would allow the press to take her photograph.

Michael Palmer, Punggol East SMC

Michael Palmer felt hurt that people were describing his walkabout photos as 'wayang', until he realised which ones they were referring to.

Masagos Zulkifli, Tampines GRC

The reporter and photographer from The Online Citizen expected a cool reception from Masagos Zulkifli, but they were certainly not prepared for this.

George Yeo, Aljunied GRC

As Singapore prepares to go nuclear in the future to meet its growing energy needs, Foreign Minister George Yeo felt it was necessary to seek advice from just the right guy—Iran’s Mahmoud Ahmedinejad.

Chia Shi Lu, Tanjong Pagar GRC

New MP Chia Shi Lu's background as an orthopaedic surgeon meant that he could lend his services to the PAP's screening process for new candidates. An important criterion for selection was a congenital absence of a funny bone.

Cedric Foo, Pioneer SMC

Cedric Foo tries to make a point about Singapore’s vulnerability—a tiny island ‘surrounded by a sea of green’.

Arthur Fong, West Coast GRC

Nobody who set eyes on Arthur Fong would doubt for a moment his loyalty to the party. The man was white-on-white-on-white.

Chan Chun Sing, Tanjong Pagar GRC

As someone who became Major-General without ever fighting in a real battle, Chan Chun Sing brings a wealth of experience to his new role as an MP ushered into Parliament without ever fighting in an electoral battle.

Heng Chee How, Whampoa SMC

Even though the two residents gamely agreed to pose for a photo with him, Heng Chee How could not help but wonder if they were secretly SDP supporters.

S. Iswaran, West Coast GRC

S. Iswaran's finger pushups were legendary.

Indranee Rajah, Tanjong Pagar GRC

On the day following her walkover win in Tanjong Pagar GRC, Indranee Rajah went on door-to-door house visits to collect back the PAP Election Manifesto.